Display Culture: When Feelings Become Performance

We are living in an age where emotions are advertised more than they are lived. Relationships today have been reduced to hashtags, captions, cakes, flowers, greeting cards, and carefully curated social media posts. We celebrate Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Friendship Day, children’s day, women’s day but somewhere in this grand display, the real essence of love, sacrifice, care, and responsibility is fading away. Love, care, affection is not a one-day performance. A mother’s sacrifices cannot be repaid with a cake and candles once a year.  A father’s silent struggles cannot be honoured merely through a Father’s Day card. A partner does not deserve affection only on Valentine’s Day through gifts and photographs uploaded online. True love is reflected in patience, respect, presence, loyalty, and everyday actions. Real relationships are built quietly and not displayed loudly.

These occasions have been commercialised. They have become opportunities for businesses, brands, markets, and social media platforms to promote products, increase sales, and encourage public display. On the other hand, these important days were meant to remind us of the value of our relationships, not replace genuine emotions with symbols and consumerism. But today, we often mistake public display for real affection.

The tragedy does not stop at personal relationships. The same culture has entered politics and society. Every year we celebrate Women’s Day, Labour Day, Children’s Day but have we truly asked ourselves what changes we are bringing into the lives of women, labourers, and children?

On Labour Day, do we improve the dignity, wages, or conditions of workers or do we merely post slogans and speeches? Other than just celebrating holidays on labour day, what value we are adding to their lives. Beyond the symbolic celebrations, what immediate, relief, opportunity or support do we add to make their life easier. On Children’s Day, do we ensure education, safety, nutrition, and equality for every child or simply distribute chocolates. Millions of children are still deprived of basic education and nutrition.  Every year we celebrate children’s day. What value we are adding to the life of children or what new opportunities we are providing to them. On Women’s Day, do we challenge discrimination and inequality or only organise events filled with empty words?

This has even extended to the religious sphere and it has to be showcased on specific occasions rather than reflecting it in our everyday actions and character. It is more about public visibility and less about personal transformation. Compassion, honesty, humility and discipline that religious scriptures emphasize is not even considered as religious teachings.

A society cannot progress on show-offs alone. Flowers, gifts, posts, speeches, and celebrations mean nothing if they are not reflected in our everyday conduct. Values are not meant to be celebrated once a year; they are meant to be lived every single day.

The world does not need more symbolic gestures. It needs sincerity. It needs action. Apart from the celebrations on the specific days, we need to individually rethink as to what value or a commitment we can add to our personal relations on those specific days that we celebrate. We need to move beyond the temporary celebrations and focus on self-reflection and commitment. We should reflect on the responsibility, actions, emotional support that we can add to our life as well as in the life of others. A small effort and commitment of becoming respectful and emotionally available in our relations and being consistent with our commitment can be the best gift. This can be extended to the society as well where we can focus on meaningful contributions at the individual and community level. Celebrations should serve as the reminders of responsibility, reflection and personal transformation.   -Dr. Vandana Mishra